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Common Myths about the Sexual Abuse of Boys and Men

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Preconceptions abound about the sexual abuse of boys and men. Some of the most common of these myths include:

• Men cannot be sexually abused.
• Women do not abuse sexually.
• Sexual abuse is always overt.
• Sexual abuse turns a boy gay.
• Sexually abused boys almost inevitably become sexually abusive men.
• Victimizers are always conscious of the abuse they are committing.
• Male victimizers who molest boys consider themselves homosexual and are sexually interested in other men.
• If you have allowed abuse, then you are a sissy or a weakling.
• Children can always say no to abuse if violence is not used. If they don’t, they must have wanted the abuse to occur.
• If a boy becomes sexually aroused, he is an equal participant in the abuse

Each of these myths reverberates for sexually abused boys and men, raising painful questions and suffusing deep shame. Yet none of them are true. Along with other preconceptions, they have all been refuted by an expanding body of literature about boyhood sexual victimization. In the coming months, Doctor Gartner will explore each of these myths further.
©2007 Richard Gartner
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